Does he really like talking to me? I mean, i try and desperatly want to talk about important things or atleast things with depth, things with substance. But its like whenever i try, it usually just fizzles out right away. Maybe im just doing it wrong. I dont know.

But i do know that sometimes when i try to have important conversations about him and i or things that im going through that make me sad or worried, he gets so distracted… and thats the one that hurts me. Lets take today, for example. I tried to talk about how i was scared about my dad leaving and going through florida because he is moving out soon, due to my parents divorcing. Well, he just kind of sat there and listened, but really as soon as i paused he started going on about some filming thing he wants to do. And thats awesome, i compeltely support him in stuff like that, but i need his support, you know? Like im hurting, i want comfort. He’s my boyfriend and he should WANT to comfort me when im sad, but he didnt even seem to notice, although i made it obvious that it was really upsetting me.

Also, we talked about something pretty trivial, but it sort of turned into some weird kind of argument i guess? (i gave him my diary to read, he didnt read it, and i asked why he didnt.. not in a mean way, i was just curious) anyways, he got upset at himself, and i sort of thought maybe we were having a moment… i was stroking his face and telling him it didnt upset me. But then randomly he like turns away, gets guitar tabs out and is like “Kay i really need to play guitar right now” and thats cool, usually… but when its something like that? Come on.

I dont know, it just worries me because things that are actually worth talking about or the times i need him most are the times that he is the most quick to just sort of not pay attention/change subjects/want to do something else randomly.

Im just.. not cool with it. He should want to talk about those things, but i guess its only important to me. And i feel like he should have liked that ‘moment’ i said about earlier, but apparently he wasnt thinking about me.. he was thinking about guitars right then.

Cool.

So i left, i just didnt want to sit around there upset because i feel ignored and like he doesnt listen. I just wanted to go home and write about it i guess.